I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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