remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
