I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
