All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
