i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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