sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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