it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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