I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
