Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize