Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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