im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
