I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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