He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
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Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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