Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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