if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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