Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize