I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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