She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
