well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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