Can i not drive my cunt home
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Damn victory sex feels great
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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