When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sext me about skeletons
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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