No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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