Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
last night I used snow as a chaser
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