I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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