He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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