Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
