I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
