suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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