Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
