Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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