Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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