any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
