from now on my penis is your penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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