When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
