Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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