I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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