In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
