idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
