My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
