The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
