well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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