Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
