There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
