Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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