I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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