Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
