hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
