butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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