I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
