i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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