is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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