The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
