Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
