Your dad touched me again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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