We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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