as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
