about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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