By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
