When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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